Saturday, January 25, 2014

Food Survival Guide.

So in the last Survival Guide we spoke about how to set up your tent.  This guide will explain to you about how to acquire food.  This one will not be for the faint of heart.  We need food and water to survive.  Simple fact of life.  SO here are some does and dont's. 

First things first, if you can get out of the city, someplace rural its not so hard.  But the first thing you need to do is head to your local welfare office.  Chances are, if you are setting up a tent, you aren't going to qualify for aid, due to the fact that you have too much income.  But it never hurts to try.  If you get food stamps, you have a great chance of coming out of this with your sanity and life, without a criminal record of some kind.

If you don't you have several legal options.  As much as I dislike places like Wal-Mart, your best bet is someplace like that that often has reduced foods, or on sale foods.  There are problems with this, but you can find decent meats on sale for 50% or more off.  It beats living on Raman Noodles and Potatoes until your next check arrives.  Some people thought I was joking about mixing tuna flavored cat food into a Tuna Fish Salad.  I wasn't, you just follow the recipe substituting cat food for Tuna.

If that isn't working out so well, you can always hit up your local food banks.  You get one meal a month from them.  Lucky for you it is at least two vegetables, stuffing or instant potatoes, some kind of meat, peanut butter and oatmeal.  I once got powdered chocolate which mean I got chocolate peanut butter oatmeal cookies.  Fiber and protein, two essentials.  Otherwise hit up ever single charity you can, as often as you can.  Sometimes you get lucky.

I would also recommend the first chance you get, get a hunting license (class is free hunting permit is what kills you).  Then set about acquiring a 30 caliber rifle, Mosin-Nagant Rifles are still cheap ($150 but it will require a good cleaning), and something like a .410 shotgun.  Check around at pawn shops and in trading magazines.  The logic goes like this, if worse comes to worse, you can hunt your own food, the rifle for large game (deer, bear, etc), the .410 for small game (rabbit, squirrel, etc).  Also get yourself a fishing pole for fish. 

Then there are the alternatives.  Poaching, Dumpster-diving, and shop lifting for food.  All of which are illegal and frowned upon.  You might be surprised how often people do all three things for food.  Then again, I doubt it at this point.  Nothing surprises me anymore.  But when worst comes to worst, you have to do what you have to do to survive.  And breaking the law otherwise becomes very acceptable when you are hungry.  I know people will scoff, people will rage at that statement, but lets be honest, what would you do for food, and every other avenue you turn down has closed?  If you answered that question with, I won't do that, you are a liar.  I don't imagine that you will sit around and starve for two days, let alone sit there and do it for two weeks.  You will find a way, by hook or crook, you will have food.  You might lie about it, but trust me, you will not go without food for yourself, your spouse, your kids.

Otherwise, try your hand at charity.  Run down to your local Starbucks, hop online anyway you can, and start a charity drive for food.  Also, if you are around Starbucks long enough, sometimes a kind hearted employee will take pity on you and give you a free cup of joe.  Otherwise, stop at Sheetz, explain the situation to the manager, and they might take mercy on you. 

You know, this is really depressing writing about this to you all.  I mean, it just bums me right out.