I love me some pizza

Mmmmmm... Pizza... The food of the gods.  Sorry folks, I am calling it how I see it.  One can never go wrong with pizza.  Well unless you got it from Papa John, and only because he is a cheap S.O.B.  So, yeah, pizza is good. 

Alright, now that I have managed to stop drooling over the thoughts of a good pizza, something I have never really found up here in the mountains of WV, something else comes to mind.  Another in the WTF are they thinking file.

So a few days ago, a newly fracked gas well in Pa, went up in flames.  Big boom, followed by a loud hiss and flames shooting from the ground.  See smoking is bad for you, no seriously, someone became seriously injured, a second is presumed missing or dead.  Chevron's response.  Free pizza for 100 neighbors.  Pizza party!

Dear Neighbor,We are sorry to have missed you. We wanted to provide you with a status update on the February 11 incident that occurred on Chevron Appalachia's Lancoe 7 H well pads in Dunkard Township and see if you had any questions or concerns that we could address.
Chevron recognizes the effect this has had on the community. We value being a responsible member of this community and will continue to strive to achieve incident-free operations. We are committed to taking action to safeguard our neighbors, our employees, our contractors and the environment.
If you have any concerns, please call our toll-free community line at 1-877-847-8408.
Thank you,
Chevron Community Outreach Team

Its starts off strong, dear neighbor....  But then in the very next sentence, "We are sorry we missed you.", are they sorry they missed you.  I don't think this was pinned to 100 doors, I think it was mailed, I should research more before typing but hey, what do you think this is Faux Noise?  So, they are sorry they missed you, yeah, I bet they are sorry they missed you, missed blowing you and your home up.  A status update via mail...  I don't know how quickly mail works in that town, but here, that is 3-5 days out for any kind of meaningful update.  And the rest of the letter.. well its cute.  They want to be a responsible member of the community, and strive for an incident-free operation, while they are committed to safeguard neighbors, employees, contractors and the environment.  Wow, the bull pucky get deep there.  Within the envelope was a coupon for a free pizza and 2 liter soda from a local company, which they are sorry they also missed in their firebombing of a town.