Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Rollin Coal.

So what is Rollin Coal?  According to Urban Dictionary, Rollin Coal is... Well you should probably read it for yourself, it is pretty comical. Despite what people are saying this has been happening for several decades.  Its just getting attention now, and it does need to stop.

Before it was called "rollin coal" it was something entirely different.  Yeah before the concept of spewing spent diesel out on people become cool, it was purely aesthetics.  Grab yourself some smoke stacks and throw them on your truck.  Tweek the settings for your fuel pump and roll coal.  But as I said, at one time this was an aesthetics thing.
So there you see the 1978 Dodge Midnite Express pickup.  Yeah, it wasn't always about spewing black smoke everywhere acting like an idiot.  Honestly, I don't think stacks in the bed, or hood of a truck don't look that great.  I mean, it looks crappy.  But this is coming from a guy that really doesn't care for hood scoops either.  But at least hood scoops can add to the aesthetics to the car. 

But what about this rollin coal?  Well, stacks on pickups are not new, but this spewing black smoke is, right?  No, not really.  I went to high school with a kid who thought that was cool shit.  As people were heading to the bus or their cars, he would hit his diesel, and black out the parking lot.  That was in the mid-90s.  I load up Google to search and I found several truck drivers bitching about the practice. 

Yeah, people who drive rigs and pickup trucks as I do, raising all grades about this practice.  Look at the date, 2013.  Apparently a driver saw a kid with dual stacks in the bed of his truck, smoking out intersections.  His response, well that helps explain why the EPA is coming down on diesel powered trucks.  Along the way others chime in about their practices of using stacks.  One commenter stated that he felt it was better as someone constantly hauling equipment with a trainer, as people in smaller vehicles wouldn't be assailed by fumes and black smoke as he was pulling out.  Of course this individual also pointed out that his truck didn't emit a lot of smoke. 

But this rollin coal is different.  Its not a kids game now.  Its not an aesthetic thing now, now its just being used to piss people off.  Some of these jokers claim that it improves the engines ability to breath, increasing mileage.  But, outside of advertising for companies smoke stacks I haven't found anything saying it does.  I forgot to mention the the bulk of people I found talking positively about stacks, not rolling coal, have their mufflers intact, and are running smaller stacks (5in or less).  Now, here is my understanding of these idiots running huge stacks and rollin coal. They might get more power, they might get better miles per gallon, but where the screw up is, removing the filters out of the exhaust.  Something that can be skipped.  Another screw up, to get all that lovely black smoke, outside of cutting out filters, you have to flood the engine with fuel. 

So, lets see if we can't find a front runner of rollin coal?  Oh look there's one right now.  What says you Mister Reformed Coal Roller?
“I know a lot of these guys thrive on how much coal they can roll when they’re in town next to hybrid cars, it’s just a testosterone thing. It’s manhood. It’s who can blow the most smoke, whose is blacker. The blacker it is, the more fuel you have in your injectors. It was kind of fun. But I’ll be honest with you. I decided I’d save some money. It’s like throwing dollar bills out the window.”
Look, I drive a "gasser".  Its an F-150, its totally stock, I get 19.5 to around 23.6 the way I am driving it right now.  Is that good, well it was the higher end of average in 2012.  Sure, as soon as I sort things out, I am going to do things to further improve the mileage the truck gets.  But there is one common thread I seem to find with younger people who run stacks on their trucks (both gas and diesel), they are doing it because they dislike the EPA, and they dislike Obama.  I have to agree with most people who are ranting about this, because it isn't cute, its not funny. 

I complain about some things, like seat belt laws, that whole click it or ticket thing.  I find wearing or not wearing a seat belt is a personal choice, that rarely causes harm to others.  If I don't wear one, which I always do to stop that incessant chiming, and I am involved in an accident, its going to hurt me a lot worse than its going to hurt you, or even my passengers.  Spewing tons of black smoke is a safety hazard in my book.  While you are rollin coal, supposing some kid lunges out onto the road, you hit the brakes, and the poor guy in the Prius runs underneath you because he couldn't see?  Seriously, watch this video, Around 6 minutes in, look at how it obscures the road for someone sitting slightly higher than the driver.

Forget it.  Most of the assholes that do this wouldn't be pissed if someone did it to them, they are too ignorant.  Yeah, diesels spew smoke from time to time, they all do.  But this... Doing this just because you hate the EPA, Obama and "tree huggers".  Yeah, you people are idiots.