The Obituary of Compassion

We are mourning the loss of a beloved old friend and philanthropist who recently passed away. Her name was Compassion. Compassion originally born in the cradle of civilization, lived a long life but died in the United States from a vicious contagious disease known only as Affluenza.

The Obituary of Common Sense

We are mourning the loss of a beloved old friend who recently passed away. His name was Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from a vicious contagious disease.